You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
