I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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