therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
