like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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