never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
