dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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