How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
