So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
