Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
