remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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