Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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