I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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