Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
