Hey man sorry I got all grabby
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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