So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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