I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
