i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
