Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
