Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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