butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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