So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
