how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
