Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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