If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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