If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize