Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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