i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
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Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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