Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
