butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
