Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
