Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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