Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
