Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
