It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
this just has baby written all over it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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