I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
