got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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