Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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