Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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