bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
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