we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
