He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
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If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
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I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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