What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
