careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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