The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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