yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
