I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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