People with herpes should wear stickers.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
