worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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