Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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