dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
