Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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