My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
