Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
