Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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