Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
