listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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