Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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