So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
