i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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