I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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